b r e a k

I'll won't be blogging for sometime. Will be busy preparing for my 2 major exams. My semestral exams as well as my A'levels...

Till then, take care guys! i'll be back! Ignore the tag-board for the time being... :)

m missing you guys alot!

Grandma's back from Penang!!

Alright 3 more hours to go, i'm gonna back home for dinner. At least 3/4 of my relatives will be there, some sort of family dinner thing since Grandma's back. Amazingly, it was my dad who planned it. Can't understand, but i think i don't want to. Just finished helping dav with his blog, fixed the light in raine's room, finished my laundry and ironing, packed my bag for training tml. Missed lunch. Guess i've better save my stomach for some good food later on!

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picture this. a bottle full of straws. of trinkets and pieces of objects that, when coalesced together, make up the contents of your life.

when every disappointment strikes, one little piece is taken out, one little trinket falls into the abyss of oblivion, vanishes from sight and from mind. and everyday this cycle is going on, these little trinkets that somehow mean so much vanishing, each one a tiny facet of your life, each one a thread that somehow is woven into the fabric of your life. your life, a carpet unravelling, a portrait slowly disintegrating into the seperate threads that make it up.

so what do you do, when it finally empties completely?

everyone has lows, everyone will reach a fork in the story of their lives, a point where they have to decide whether its worth carrying on, or not. it's natural, and rather inevitable. what matters is how you deal with this, how you dig within yourself to replace these trinkets that have gone missing, how you get up from a fall to remain what is essentially you.

the alternative is a bottle empty of substance, a life without meaning.

weave your own carpet of joy and meaning, find in yourself the determination to carry on painting the portrait that inherently defines you. it exists, there, so don't lose heart, don't feel lost.

the only place to find yourself is in yourself..

there are times when a song says everything you want to say. music does have power, the beat just carries you along, envelops you in its flow. the lyrics become secondary to the sheer ecstacy of movement.

sometimes a song says so much more than the words it contains. maybe lyrics do make the song, but maybe, it is the nature of the song, too, that determines the lyrics. some songs have this unique quality of seeming to resonate with hidden emotion, themselves, like poetry, capturing passion in an acutely visible form. feeling is contained within the constraints of the form and immeasurably magnified.

silence is itself a form. without words but full of meaning. dawn's put it well. silence is important at times, complements music, complements worship, compliments emotion and feeling. silence is when your innermost feelings receive acquaintance, when you can finally look within yourself and discover, oh, thats who i am and what i want to be. silence is the tool to exploration, and the method of discovery.

music and silence. opposing worlds charged with poignant meaning.
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/ wish i had what i needed
to be on my own.
cause i feel so defeated, and
i'm feeling alone.

Winamp playing : 3 doors down - here without you

Let's fight and break the convention

A good news i received today on my last week's presentation results. I've got a distinction. Somemore to go, i shouldn't be complacent. I have sufficiently withstood the past 3 hours and finishing one GP essay, one AJ maths paper at the most ridiculous breakneck speed that I’ve ever mustered from my trembling fingers. It's definitely much faster than previous times. I can smell the rain and that probably gonna cancel my night run later.

Thanks Vincent for your encouragement. True enough, i wasn't feeling quite happy on the last training. All these while i've been training hard even with the lack of time, i still do. Yes, i was being dissappointed in myself. But NO i ain't gonna give up, i'll work towards the timings even though it maybe quite impossible.

Gotta go for make-up tuition now and continue with projects in the night.

To all friends, time seems to have eroded you guys aside, but rest assured i miss you all alot and will definitely meet up after the exams.

/Can somebody answer me the question why
You don't miss your water til the well runs dry

Winamp playing : Blessid Union Of Souls - I Believe

Childen's day

This life's dim windows of the soul
Distorts the heavens from pole to pole
And leads you to believe a lie
When you see with, not through, the eye.

Today's children's day! Whoo.. and i've got a lollipop from raine, i've receive so many greetings, Oh it makes me feel so young again. and.. i like...:) Tuition tomorrow, better surprise my little boy and girl with something. :) Just an update from my previous entry, i'm currently staying at raine's house. Yap, i think i'm slowly adapting to staying there. Lucky me.

Last Sunday was supposed to meet cousins for gathering. Kinda like after a few months, we'll get together for a meal or some activities. But last Sunday, had to cancel it cos i was really feeling sick. Oh! Am looking forward to next Sunday's gathering. Haven't really planned what to do or place to go. Definitely, dinner at granny's ( my mom's side) place. I haven't been there for sometime, as much as i longed to. Granny has been out of town with Aunty Alice most of the time. She says travelling was something she wanna spend her rest of her life doing. She's really in! I heard she's got a digital camera! And her recent 3 weeks China trip spend her S$500 or more just developing her photos. ( over a thousand) Am so envy! Makes me more keen on my end of year Australia Trip. *grins*

Oh! i can't wait! I simply love family gatherings! even though i'm the only one from my family there...

Gonna do my report. Have been slacking. Yes! S-L-A-C-K for the last two days sleeping. All re-charged now. (i hope)

Winamp playing : Sheila Nicholls - Fallen For You -> very nice song! :)