Grandma's back from Penang!!

Alright 3 more hours to go, i'm gonna back home for dinner. At least 3/4 of my relatives will be there, some sort of family dinner thing since Grandma's back. Amazingly, it was my dad who planned it. Can't understand, but i think i don't want to. Just finished helping dav with his blog, fixed the light in raine's room, finished my laundry and ironing, packed my bag for training tml. Missed lunch. Guess i've better save my stomach for some good food later on!

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picture this. a bottle full of straws. of trinkets and pieces of objects that, when coalesced together, make up the contents of your life.

when every disappointment strikes, one little piece is taken out, one little trinket falls into the abyss of oblivion, vanishes from sight and from mind. and everyday this cycle is going on, these little trinkets that somehow mean so much vanishing, each one a tiny facet of your life, each one a thread that somehow is woven into the fabric of your life. your life, a carpet unravelling, a portrait slowly disintegrating into the seperate threads that make it up.

so what do you do, when it finally empties completely?

everyone has lows, everyone will reach a fork in the story of their lives, a point where they have to decide whether its worth carrying on, or not. it's natural, and rather inevitable. what matters is how you deal with this, how you dig within yourself to replace these trinkets that have gone missing, how you get up from a fall to remain what is essentially you.

the alternative is a bottle empty of substance, a life without meaning.

weave your own carpet of joy and meaning, find in yourself the determination to carry on painting the portrait that inherently defines you. it exists, there, so don't lose heart, don't feel lost.

the only place to find yourself is in yourself..

there are times when a song says everything you want to say. music does have power, the beat just carries you along, envelops you in its flow. the lyrics become secondary to the sheer ecstacy of movement.

sometimes a song says so much more than the words it contains. maybe lyrics do make the song, but maybe, it is the nature of the song, too, that determines the lyrics. some songs have this unique quality of seeming to resonate with hidden emotion, themselves, like poetry, capturing passion in an acutely visible form. feeling is contained within the constraints of the form and immeasurably magnified.

silence is itself a form. without words but full of meaning. dawn's put it well. silence is important at times, complements music, complements worship, compliments emotion and feeling. silence is when your innermost feelings receive acquaintance, when you can finally look within yourself and discover, oh, thats who i am and what i want to be. silence is the tool to exploration, and the method of discovery.

music and silence. opposing worlds charged with poignant meaning.
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/ wish i had what i needed
to be on my own.
cause i feel so defeated, and
i'm feeling alone.

Winamp playing : 3 doors down - here without you