i wish i own more cds. i see the difference between downloaded versions and the orginals.

i want cds! haha

Few more hours, my last day teaching but will be doing relief on behalf of others. And i met up with charmaine ( the girl i was refering to in my last last entry) for the continuation of the project. more or less finish the planning part. Gotta do some research and get more brains cracking... but anyway she's so funny...the way she laugh especially, even when nothing's funny.. maybe i've got a corny face. yes after my haircut.. raine's mom's fren thought i was 15 years old! :) grins.. hi big brothers and sister who is reading my blog.. guess no one younger than me rite.. i'm 15.hah. ok..

yeah tmr i'm finally going for my training!

btw what handphone is recommendable anyone?

A mind full of thoughts,
That no one can know.
A heart full of love,
That I cannot show.
Many deep feelings,
Hidden way down inside.
No one will ever know,
Just how much I tried.
To mask myself,
In the feelings untrue.
No one must ever know,
Just what damage they can do.

So what if you've conquered the tallest mountain
And attained all that could be attained?
So what if you've reached the top of the ladder
Only to find yourself a little sadder?
So what if you've climbed to the tallest stair
Simply to find you've lost a friend so rare?
Contemplate what has been lost in your push to the goal
Friends gone and your heart turned cold
Ambition and greed is an infinite abyss
Possessing them is a tremendous risk
Many people desire sucess
Which they think they can have no excess
However they have not thought
That it is lonely at the top

The silence looms around you
constantly there.
No matter how much noise around you
it still presses inward.
You feel the silence in your heart
pulling you down
into the darkness beyond
drowning you.

You feel the darkness
closing around you.
Your losing hope
but you see a gap in the darkness.
A light shining through
calling you into welcoming arms
waiting to embrace you.
All you need to do
just reach out your hand
let the light pull you to
safety.

But the darkness still closes in.
Wanting you for it's own
you know you must act now
the light so welcoming
but the dark so persistent.
You know you must decide now.
The light is fading .
This may be your last chance.
All you have to do
just reach out
let the love take you away
to a place where you can live with out fear
of words prored from the heart used against you
and in love
your home.

It feels awesome not working this whole week. Being able to return home and dine in with raine's family for dinner simply brightens up my entire day. After which watching drama serials or movies together, making sandwiches for tomorrow's breakfast... i've that locked in my mind. Yes i'm kinda homely at times, i like family-bondings and stuffs like tat, makes me feel there's truly someone that i can run to after a awful day outside..

I'm left with 2 more days to rest, meet up friends and complete my load of assignments. I'm currently working on a external project for my dad. Assisting me is Nat who's waiting for As results. So i've been meeting her quite often after school this week at my dad's office for some discussion. The impression she gave me on the first day was that she was rather slack kind. True enough i was quite right, i mean she's always doing the wrong ting at the wrong time...but but she's indeed different. Alright, she's really good in Chinese, which often makes me wonder if she took chinese lit..and her expressions and the way she talks about love, life and such... were words tat kept running in my head.

Finally the open house has ended. quite relieved, because for the past weeks been busy with pre-open house, then rehearsals, then on the actual day itself.. etc...

anyway i had my haircut today. and guess what? i've 4 pairs of hands cutting, tat makes 8 hands. yes 4 girls cutting my hair. hahaaaaa. well cos my hair was pretty in a mess cos its kinda long already and i decided to cut in real short - botak for re-growth of my hair. so i leave my hair in the hands of 4 of them. but after the hair cut...... i realise it was really botak..haaa but ultimately the girls really enjoy themselves man!!! just how they play with my hair, cutting all kinds of layer....and all those toot fringes.. ewkk....haaaaa.. but i must say at least they din do such a ugly cut.. haaaa

yawns i'm tired. gona go take a nap

I just ended my long hours of work since last night. so glad that i'm finally able to relax for a day tomorrow even though i've tuition in the morning. tuition is nothing more exhausting than working like a dog over there.

I finally realised how much i've relied on my hp to contact and connect myself to my frens.. even though i'm not a 24/7 having my phone on or having my fingers continously pressing the keypads or even talking on the phone. I'm neither... its the feeling of driftness. The battery / sound / memory are having some problems as well which makes me so sick of even carrying my phone out which i did this week. I went back to public phone and wasn't feeling at all that comfortable because i can imagine the amount of germs i'm taking in... so pple before i get a new phone, i won't be sms-ing or call much.

gotta do lots of catching up with frens tomorrow, been missing out loads of fun already... Tomorrow's a off day tomorrow's a off day tomorrow's a off day, because its SUNDAY!!!!

"Fear angst, disappointment, and reality - ecstasy is king of everything and pleasure is poetry. You have to run around with your mask all day and it's only onto you're alone in your own shroud of darkness when you can break down and let it all out. Culture and society dictates that big boys and girls don't cry."

mirror in the sky, what is love?
can the child within my heart rise above?
can i sail through the changing ocean tide?
can i handle the seasons of my life

I must have been a fool just now. Went to work when i'm off this evening. I hope i haven't get too use to the schedule like last week.

Today's lesson wasn't really a smooth one. First of all, the diskette i was holding to was corrupted, then who knows what happen, the lab suddenly went black out. When the lights are back, the pc i was using hang. I was asked to teach physics for a period of time; but it's a lil impossible since i'm having school still. It's nt really confirm anyway.

Went lunch with a relief teacher ( da vj gal) cos i forgotten i've promise her for lunch last week, so it's a make-up lunch. She teaches the lower sec cme, science. totally stunned when i walk past her class today. it was so quiet and everyone was so attentive. unlike mine? ermm... actually i've only 1 problematic class. that's enough... nevertheless, still quite enjoyable.

Saturday - Dance practice / Dance performance / work - Was indeed a different kind of performance, i would say my first time. I never perform to such a crowd before. No, i don't mean a big crowd, but rather the age group of crowd. That is 30 and above.... Many VIPs as well...

Sunday - Met up with Daven and he fill me in with his life as a fresh commando. Sounds to me pretty exciting........ i wish i could get into commandos like him in a year to come....

I just reviewed my guestbook, and the very top one from one of my close buddy last time who has went M.I.A and lost contact since he went NS. I don't know how he came to my blog, but i kept thinking my eyes were fooling me again for the second time. I think from the start I?ve wanted to live a life like him. From the day we got closer as friends, he knew my life was a stormy one. I'm taken aback by what he mention. I never knew i gave him such an impression, cos after we got closer its also when he went army and we drifted. That's funny i know..

YC, Email me if you happen to still come by.

i'm touched. loss for words.