I miss visitings this year, because i went jakarta on thrus-friday for a biz trip with my dad. Even though i had reunion dinner on wednesday but i guess i miss out much fun with my cousins. This year, i didn't have to face awkward moments with my sister since she wasn't even there. Maybe she didn't want to see me or maybe she was at her bf's place. This is the 3rd year she didn't come for reunion dinner, but maybe she did visit grandma on other days. My brother wasn't back either and this marks the 2nd year that he miss the reunion dinner. he was in camp last year and is in states this year. It feels weird when everyone ask about your siblings; how are they? why they ain't here? when you are as clueless as them. I just escaped by saying "well, cropped up with something i guess" doesn't make much sense to the adults since its new year.. and it feel totally weird when you are the only one there representing your family for reunion dinners. Yes, my parents went to the other side ( my mum's side ) for dinner.

When i return from indonesia, i went into intensive dance practice with the rest. I also went for practice for the coming singing performance for some awards thing in school. I spend the entire saturday evening making cheese cake with grandma that is after i return from sentosa. I went there alone to relax and i brought raine's dog along for company. ;) No one's home for visitng yesterday and my parents are away as well.. so i'm to make plans for myself before work begins pretty soon.

Just came back from Jeremy's house for some cny gathering. We successfully messed up his room which he spends 3 days cleaning it. Oh jeremy try harder.. :P

I felt a lil out of breath yesterday night that i think my face turn totally white. maybe it was because of tat nightmare.


i pray not for a lighter load, but a stronger back to carry a heavier load.

Scars are souvenirs you never lose,
The past is never far.
Did you lose yourself somewhere out there?
Did you get to be a star?
Don't it make you sad to know that life,
Is more than who we are.

Pam, thanks for being so frank. You might have felt the change in me; that's because i've grew to be stronger. Till now, i still don't see the problem with me being this way and you being unhappy about? I seriously have nothing to hide to all of you. If you are trying to say i'm avoiding her, then you are so wrong. I wouldn't have went out with you guys if i wanna avoid her. I wouldn't even have gone to her house for dinner if i wanna avoid her? Sometimes there are certain things that you've gotta take it slowly, rushing over it would cause frictions and misunderstandings. I know just what i'm doing. however, i'm really glad that we've clear up the miscommunications.

hey this is bad. raine's pc is having serious hanging problems! argh and i can't view my blog. wonders why. anyway sorry if i reply and tag msges late?

i'm going checkup tmr! feeling a lil nervous.

doing the data entry for my dad nw. stupid pc hang when i was saving and i've gotta redo all over. all that i've done in 2 hours and nw i've to rush it before 3am when i meet e guys for meeting later.

HELP!!!!!!!!!

Everyone's practising for open house! Spend my entire break time dancing as well. Saw this 3 girls in club room practising for many days already. dunno wat dance is it but they look quite good in the steps. ;)

Tomorrow tuition resumes. i've got to attend a workshop at night. next week's cny! i will be working on cny! working for my dad. might or might not be in town.

i wish i could be invisible.

sometimes you gotta run into the arms of danger
sometimes you gotta be the sacrifice.
soemtimes you gotta say things that dont come easy.
they say just follow your heart but what if it lies?

Once again, let me make this clear. I didn't turn my guestbook into a testimonials. Its just that it started off with a person writing a testimonial and the rest follow. I'm not trying to promote myself through it, like i said it was meant to be a guestbook. But i can't prevent anyone from typing what they want to right? Like i mention, i welcome just any feedbacks about my layout..abt me.. the negative pts as well.. yap.. ;)

My first day teaching in school. The staffs are pretty ok, though i think some are kinda weird? There were two A levels student on relief teaching as well. I talk to one today over recess, she's from VJ. Girls are superb noisy;can't stop talking. geeeez.... so far so good...Back to school tmr..

I've a stack of documents to read through today, and i need to do up a report by tonight.

Morning run @ 530am with Vincent from Pierce Reservoir right up to King Albert's Park Mac Donalds. Now taking an hour break before heading for my interview and dinner with BOF.

I just clicked on my guestbook, which somehows turn into a testimonial log? Serious addicts of friendster. lol. Reading the comments and for some i didn't realise my impact on them. I'm on one hand feeling touched and on the other feeling i need to build stronger bonds for some. But anyways feel free to write any comments abt me, my blog, anything at the guestbook. Throw in the bad things as well, i would like that. :]

Anyone knows how to interpret dreams? i've been dreaming about lots of things so true, and they happen exactly the following day or the day after. It's quite scary because i feel as if i'm still in my dreams and it's kinda uncomfortable.

Yesterday met Elaine and Pam for lunch and bowling. It was quite alright with crazee Pam around, you just feel like using her as the ball! haa... Well, Elaine and I did talk abit but i still feel very uneasy.. we'll see..
I fear changes now, be it in school, or the people around me. There's so many thing i've gotta adapt and accept all over again. The very thought, I fear, may be painful. Right now, i've been blogging for exactly a year and when i read back at some of the entries, i realise how my life's been like a rollercoaster ride and i just can't imagine what is it like this year round. A single blog entry can't sum up all the emotions inside of me. I'll have more to go through this year, i'm sure. Even now, just that i'm trying to be myself, to take things on the brighter side, to be strong. Yet trying can be very tiring, and it can be very painful.

But if you were to ask me what's the biggest change in me after a year or two? i would say i'm still the same but i've grown to be stronger.

Dark clouds forming. i better go change. wish me luck!

yeah no more prima deli in fast food canteen! It's pretty unhygienic the way they handle their food and don't even mention about their service. i give them half a star out of 5. that is out of pity.

Now to replace it we've "Splash n decker". Serving pasta,sandwiches,rice,cakes,brownies,ice-cream,lots more. Sounds good eh? I suppose it really draws a large crowd of pple over. Haven't try it yet. The ice-cream are pretty cheap. a dollar? and they even have the one with bread. All prices are below the price of 3.
quite gd eh? shall try it soon. gosh hungry....

lots of things changing........ can't adapt... cant accept

Second day of school, am loving the feeling of schooling. no work, no training, no commitments after school. Though my classes does ends pretty late this time round. This wouldn't be for long... my schedule'll probably be changing pretty soon once my job starts filling in. Yes, i'm at the moment jobless, so anyone? ;)
But still living fine, with my income that's coming from my previous month work.

Some updates, raine's brother's back so i've shifted out of his room. My choice was to shift out and probably find some accomodation elsewhere but the parents insisted that i stay for the very good reasons they came up with and i seriously mean good reasons that they make me fly. They really make me feel stress-free. Some days when i came back feeling rather exhausted and in low-spirits; they'll talk to me. Perhaps they are aware of my situation and has grew to understand me better. I really appreciate that and i'm really very touched by their actions, their concern. i barely knew raine for a year, i barely knew her parents for few mths? I would tell myself that i'm so lucky to have them around.

The weekend was a good one. I spend my saturday morning over breakfast with my Dad after passing him the documents. After which, went to meet a client of his at hyatt hotel for coffee and some discussion. His client was from indonesia. very business-minded and easily knew his a very professional biz man. and oh i read in e papers that dealing biz in china with pple is not as easy as we thought it was for singaporeans. China is known to us as the potential trading place in the years to come; and yesterday's paper commented that China people dislike to work with Singaporeans because they aren't risk-takers. but then i think they got to understand the culture here as well. Afterall, every country has their own way of doing things? Basically the whole day, went from one place to another to meet clients till night falls. Watch mona lisa on sunday, pretty good show. Like the art of the show, very classic feeling...;) 5 stars!

Finally get to log in after so long. Some internal server error again.

First of all, Happy New Year to all my beloved friends and whoever is reading this. ;)

So, how did you guys countdown? well.. i had mine at sentosa. Nope, i was working so basically i had a free countdown with such a happening crowd. Was having a great time there, definitely.

Well, as i waved goodbye to 2003, i would like to say as much as i would love to embrace this year with a brand new resolution, hope, confidence, i fear as much to. Like previous years, i set resolutions that right now a year has pass and i look at them and i'm bringing it forward to this year as well. One of my resolution last year was able to have a happy family meal together. Much as i wanted to, right now, this year all of us are separated even further than the year before. But i tell myself as long as i still love them, no matter what, i'll still work towards it and i'm sure one fine day it'll come true. After so long, for those who been reading my blog, you'll know i'm someone bag with lots of problems - family problems ; so to speak. In the beginning of the year, i use to feel very upset over two things. One - my family. Second - my two friends, June and Gloria. Throughout the year, i've been trying out lots of ways to rebuild my friendship with them. Both of them were once my extremely best friends, someone i share my problems to, someone who listens to me, someone who cares about me. However due to some problems on my own, i fail to give them the best i should; i fail to make the essential effort because i was hoping things will turn out better. But that was so wrong, because never did i know as i left some things unhandled to solve on its own, hoping that time will make everything better? Then in the midst of the year, some issues about life, and also what i learn in my religion, woke me up. I realise everything in life you gotta make consistent efforts, even a small one like - sending a sms can make things turn out for the better. So, throughout the year, besides the accumulated family problems, my personal problems, i've been thinking hard every night how should i make it up to them. I tried telling them how much they mean to me, how much i will always be there for them, always. It isn't helping , yet i understand why. Because they say things are no longer the same. Right now, June's overseas i heard, i've never talk to her again, i miss her but she'll never know. As for Gloria, we are talking now again, but each time i fear and i daren't put too much high hopes even though i'll still put in lots of effort. And everytime we chat, i always think it as though its the last time we are chatting and i really appreciate and treasure the every single word that comes out from her. Why? It's an act that i constantly tell myself i shouldn't take the person for granted. I know it's difficult for her to even confide in me, well i don't blame her. Even my own sister could be like that, what's more can i expect from a friend, a best friend. Least to say, i'm contented. As for June, i'm still trying to contact her.

Therefore this year, i hope to build up more stronger friendships; to put in more efforts to make my friends happier. To be there rain or shine. To listen, and wipe away their tears. I'm not gonna repeat my mistake again. That's one of my resolution.