As darkness falls..

i'm currently looking for a place to stay. Been searching for few days. Either the place is too far or the rent is crazily impossible. i've no choice. Mr and Mrs Lee's friend's daughter from Indonesia is coming over to study and living at their place. Cant expect me to share a room with a girl.. especially when is someone i don't know. Goodness me! She really came at the wrong time. *tired* i'm homeless. staying with friends for the time being till i find a place. i feel bad. Seriously..

Be glad that u have a shelter above u. u will never know what's its like seeking for a shelter.

And gloria, if that's what u want, you've succeeded. i really wonder. i rather you not send me the birthday greeting if you didn't really mean it. If you really do, so what is it now? *sigh*

Thanks frens, who leave a msg on the board. i love u guys! I'll do my best for the performance, though there's a high chance that i might just screwed it up. :P

I dunno when's the next time i'll blog, probably when i settle down in a new place. Will update more then.

Winamp playing : Kermit the frog - rainbow connection

malu-ing day

my mum's going to Indonesia for some business dealings tomorrow. i wonder if she's knows if my birthday is tomorrow. My uncle just called me. He thought today was my birthday, so he called to wish. Today someone fainted at the lecture. And it seems that everyone thought i was the one. Cos when i was going home, met my ex-classmates and they ask if i was ok cos they heard i've fainted. ??? Actually its this guy who fainted on me, i was walking towards the front of the lecture room and "thud", two guys on the ground. I dunno how i fell, i got trip over when his hand touches my shoe or something.. it was that fast that i din koe how it happen. and my 20 booklets of notes scattered on the ground. It was super malu-ing!! I pick myself up quickly din koe someone behind has fainted till there was a commotion. And i heard the girls giggles from the back! argh..goodness me!

I'm going to meet raine, li ping, ivy, ming shun and lionel for dinner later. Going chomp².... yummm! i'm so hungry now!

I'm going to skip the second half of the classes tomorrow. My class ends at 9+. really sucky timetable! And tomorrow suppose to be a celebration day for both me + josh. Josh's birthday happens to fall on the same day as me, and great we are celebrating it together for the FIRST time. It's gonna be really fun tomorrow!

reminds me national day is approaching!

I thought this was really well-written. The RJC case. Click here

Winamp playing : travis- flowers in the window

bored

Tired. Bored. Sleepy. Books.


Winamp playing : c21 - you are the one

Tanya - wu di dong

Sometimes the person is not the one you want, but you just want he/she to replace the hole, the loss in your life... and all of our lifes we are trying to cover this hole. And going through different relationships, yet there's this something that's missing still in your life. And if you read the third paragraph, "everyone just likes the appearance of being in love" the surface of it... i think its very true, some pple just go into a relationship because of peer pressure, etc.. and not because you actually love the person. "ren lei de xin, shi ge wu di dong"



This song relates to me quite well. It says that sometimes when we did so much for a person, been through so much for a person, and because of something that happen, everything was history and strangers are we now. However in this case, it's the opposite, i think the person did quite alot for me and because of something things turn out the other way. Yet in this case, i must say it's not saddness that i feel, but more of it's such a pity that a friendship has to end like this. Nevertheless, i wish her all the best and she'll always be a part of my memory.

Oh Jay's new album is coming out in taiwan tomorrow i suppose. And i heard his album's name is his mum's name. hmm...

Winamp playing : Tanya - mo sheng ren

Dance to the hospital?

Yesterday night went to cousin's place. The parents went to KL for wedding dinner. So its like i've to look after them for that night. When i reach there i was totally tired cos of my school club crawl. Then, i was lying on the sofa almost in dreamland.. my younger cousin, bryan, was like shaking me frantically shouting , " Kor kor ! amanda is dancing!! she can't stop dancing on the floor", followed by a laughter. I didn't really bother about it, cos i was really tired. But about 5minutes later, i was disturbed by bryan's shouts again. I got up and walk towards his room. And i was SHOCKED to see his sister , amanda shivering on the floor. Her lips were pale. I figured it was Fits. But unfortunately, i've never experience fits and in fact never see one before. I was really loss to what to do. I tried to seek help from the neighbours, but none responded. I resort to calling the ambulance. Afterwhich went to the hospital, on the way, she was fine. However, when we reach the hospital, she was attacked by it again. the doctor says it was due to dehydration and fever. I never knew dehydration would cause fits. But nevertheless, bryan's was in much confusion, wondering how his sister will land up in hospital when she's dancing?

The parent's should be back today, meanwhile i've to head to the hospital now to see how's her condition.

Winamp playing : Avril Lavigne - Complicated

this week was totally a bad one

School started, two days for me. So far so good, just that i hate the part when we have to scan to get in to the canteens. Basically, it's like the way we scan to go in to the MRT, with the opening and closing thing upon detection of our cards. Of cos it was much below the standard of the ones at the MRT. My friend, denise got jam in between. And it was hilarious the way he struggle to get himself out. The security guard came to the rescue. After that, there was no need to scan the cards anymore. It was jammed! I was at the fast food canteen the next day. And yea saw this lecturer actually remove the blockage beside the machines and walk through it. Eventually the rest saw, and no one bothers to scan it anyway. uh-huh... sars precaution...

Went to esplanade library yesterday to read up some stuffs. I love the ambience there, and surprisingly i saw raine and her friends there as i was about to leave. can't really remember what's her friends names.. it's been a year since i met her. chat up abit and she offer to pass me some of her notes next week. i really need it! Considering, i'm kinda struggling with some topics. asked to join her for dinner? nah, i pretty much wanted to be alone yesterday. today as well. Took a cab home cos i was carrying too much. And while waving frantically for the cabs after 20 mins of waiting, this woman from nowhere, just brush me off and went into the cab. how gracious. Wasn't really in the mood because some things that happen. It was also that, which makes me understands myself more. I don't understand why isit i'm always the one. When things goes wrong, i'm the one that cause it. In a friendship, i'm the one putting the effort no matter what. why? i always give a damn to every single small things.. i asked myself if i bothers too much? Doing things for pple and yet being blamed cos things don't seem to be of their expectations.. pple come to me with their problems.. and i try to talk to them, console them, telling them i will always be there. Ya guess what? the very next day when their problems are solved or watever, they can't even be bothered about you. And i'm there worrying if they are alright. How stupid. I really thought hard about it. I tell myself, why do i have to care so much? I end up feeling more hurt.

But no matter how i talk myself through, i simply can't. I can't bring myself not to bother about things that comes my way. Perhaps it's because i expect too much, but what's life without expectations? Everyone does that.. in fact its a every day kinda thing. My grandma used to tell me, if people don't appreciate, let it be, don't expect that they one day will. cos they will never. She told me don't hold on to things, as everything is impermanent. She told me it is impossible to most pple because they fear of being hurt. And i simply agree on that. It's the same when u feel something for the opposite, but we don't say anything cos we're gripping with the fear of what will turn out of the relationship.

i wonder if they ever think of me if they don't meet a problem. i wonder if she miss me as much as i miss her. I wonder if they still remember i'm a part of them. i wonder.

Winamp playing : Boyz II Men - The color of love

Bread - If

If a picture paints a thousand words
Then why can't I paint you?
The words will never show
For you I've come to know.
If a face could launch a thousand ships
Then where am I to go?
There's no one home but you
And now you've left me too.
And when my love for life is running dry
You come and pour yourself on me
If a man could be two places at one time
I'd be with you.
Tomorrow and today
Beside you all the way
If the world should stop revolving
Spinning slowly down to die.
I'd spend the end with you
And when the world was through...
Then one by one, the stars would all go out.
Then you and I, would simply fly away.

It's around 10am in the morning, time for me to sleep... so tired, and my emotions got me carried away with some other stuffs.

Updates at sharon au's website.

Winamp playing : Bread - IF

Iranian twin dies after separation surgery

As i recalled, during a interview the twins said that the first thing they wanna do after the operation is to see each other face to face. Somehow, though i'm not related to them, i feel kind of heart-aching. 29years of being together as 1, and now that they are somewhat undergoing the separation, one dies. Is it fate? Just praying that one will survive, though i heard the chances are very slim.

Please pray for Laleh Bijani ....

[18.59] two dead. :(

Winamp playing : MLTR- nothing to lose

Dance practice

Went back to school for dance practice today. Had to take temperature again, but with the help of the thermal scanners it was much faster and easier. Canteens are fenced up, everywhere you go you have to scan your cards. Just imagine you forgot your card one day.

Dance today was bad bad bad! Only 3 of us turn up, cos the rest have got classes or whatever excuses they came up with. So for the whole afternoon, we were just trying to figure out the music and part of the steps.

Bad day... :(

Winamp playing : Usher - If i want to

End of work, back to school ?

My last day of work ended yesterday. Kinda sad though... :( school's gonna start. Cca orientations, and so on! oh ya, my timetable really turns me off! I've classes that ends at 9+pm! arghh i hate it!!! How am i going to find another part time job.. sighh

I'm at jean's house today, cos she's sick. Poor girl.. feeling so weak. Jacelyn is coming over later with Tim! I'm kinda feeling very bored here. What i did was to take her temperature once every two hours, cook some porridge for her. Apparently, i dun have to worry if it tastes good in any way. A sick person usually lost her sense of taste. haha... i spend the whole night awake till now with just 2 hours of slp. I just can't get myself to slp and my eyes practically opened wide! And all i stick to was my stack of notes... and i was so bored that i ended up helping her sweep and mop the floor. she stays alone for that matter..

I can't wait to get hold of this week 8days magazine! Sharon Au's on the coverpage! Grab a copy of it soon! :)

Winamp playing : Five for fighting - Superman

My weekends

Saturday
had a mini gathering with my friends. In the noon, went to dav's house to look for his sis, tammy, cos long time didn't see her already.
still as cute as ever.. :) was talking and playing with her till i almost late to meet the rest of my friends to go marina. Went marina to fly kite!
jacelyn was the one who organise this outing, response was not bad, abt 16 of us turn up. tat shows how much "mei li" she has! at least.. haha.
We went there with 3 kites and return with 1 kite. so pathetic. i used to fly kite when i was young with my siblings, it seems much more easier than
now.. anyways after tat we went for steamboat. yumm! afterwhich, james, robin and i went over to daven's place to stay over. We played ps the
whole night, and to realise dav's got an exam to study for!

Sunday
Left dav's house at 8+am, went to andrew's house for a meeting, went swimming with vincent in the afternoon. Afterwhich, suddenly received a call from
my elaine's mum. Elaine's my ex-gf. ya, the mum invited me to go over for dinner. I actually met the mum at the supermarket one or two weeks ago, that's how she got my contact no again. Elaine's now in Australia, don't think she had any idea i went over to her place after 2-3 years? I didn't wanted to go
but yet part of me didn't wanna reject again. Hence, i went. Her dad had gone for a business trip, so it was just a simple dinner with her mum and sister. Less pressure. The place didn't changed much, except for the new fish tank, least that's what i remember of that place.. As usual, her mum said i've changed. 2-3 years isn't that long but pple change due to the environment they're in. Dinner was good and i stupidly promised for more dinners in the future. After dinner, the mum drove us to haagen-daz for ice-cream at the esplanade. It was a simple evening that we spend together, not much was spoken, but we all knew what's on each other's mind.

Winamp playing : Lonestar - i'm already there