Physics design paper's over. Strangely interesting. Entry's gonna be long, let me rant. :)

Days before, i managed an unexpectedly interesting conversation over the msn with gloria after a year. She mentioned that i can easily understand her. She described herself as a blank sheet of paper and i've no problem knowing what's on her mind, her feelings. I ponder over her words because deep inside me i know i don't understand her at all. Two years before, the very last year, i don't forsee any barriers building between us. So much of me wanted to be back like last time. People says as time passed, things changed, we can't be what we are before. What do you think? I used to think if we want something, we should not like our pride rule over us. However, she told me that she can't let her pride down, she's not use to giving in to people. Being naive as always, i always thought if we try to put in effort in a friendship, things will work out. Why is it that when people know their flaws, and why aren't they changing for the better? I tried to put myself in her shoes as being the only child, receiving the beauty of everything in life, but i just can't understand. Part of me is very tired in putting the consious efforts all the time. The other part of me doesn't want to let go this friendship. I know if i do not carry on initiating a conversation, continue to be what a friend should be, this friendship will slowly fade in a blink of an eye. Whoever is reading this will tell me : " what's the point of having such a friend then?" Perhaps, she had once been a really good friend.

My very last paper ends tomorrow. Unexpectedly no whoop of joys this time. i was asked to join some of my cjc friends for clubbing tomorrow. The way they club and party and drink and toast and chortle the weekend away into a blissful blare. Maybe i should for once or maybe i should go join the guys at dance. Talking about dance, it's been months since i last felt the intense movement of my body sway with the music. This time for a change, a little of hip-hop. I've never tried hip-hop cause i wasn't much of a rap person, neither can i break dance exceptionally well. But there's always a beginning for everything. I wonder if this exam periods have last for a ridiculous long month thats why i'm feeling all immune. I should be excited, overwhelmed, and hogging on phone with friends planning the next few days activities, but i'm not. Or could it be that my semestral results gonna be out soon?

Today, i went home. I started playing on my piano, no specific pieces, i just played the way i let my fingers decide its move. They say music and the heart are inter-connected, i realised that. And as i continue playing, my mind is filled with the silhouette that I'm thinking of. Right now, my fingertips have already become calloused from all that playing.

I see everyone's packed with excitement to see Elaine. I've second thoughts about going now. Afterall she will be here for half a year, so no rush. I thought i should be meeting my dad instead. A very unlikely move i picture afterall i was never the one who take the first step to meet him unless he calls. I will be leaving for Australia next week if everything goes well. I hoped.

Swiftly as time passes, we're gonna step into the last month of the year. Like previous years, i always have this perception on the very last day of the year. That is, the feeling that the storm had blown out to sea at last, and my life, the place's was yellow with sunlight.

Val: Enjoy ya trip to Australia on Friday! cheerss! :)